Are you going out with someone who...
- Is jealous and possessive, won't let you have friends, checks up on you, won't accept breaking up?
- Tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, not taking your opinions seriously?
- Puts you down in front of friends, tells you that you would be nothing without him or her?
- Scares you? Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do? Threatens you? Uses or owns weapons?
- Is violent? Has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly, brags about mistreating others? Grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits you?
- Pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex? Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
- Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to take them?
- Has a history of failed relationships and blames the other person for all the problems?
- Makes you family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
What if your Partner is abusing you and you want out?
Tell a family member, a friend, a counselor, a clergyman, or someone else whom you trust and can help. The more isolated you are from friends and family the more control the abuser has over you.
- Keep a daily log of the abuse.
- Do not meet your partner alone. Do not let him or her in your home or car when you are alone.
- Avoid being alone at school, work, on the way to and from places.
- Tell someone where you are going and when you plan to be back.
- Plan and rehearse what you would do if your partner became abusive.
- If you are a student, alert the school counselor or security officer.
How to be a friend to a victim of dating violence.
- If you notice a friend is in an abusive relationship, don't ignore signs of abuse. Talk to your friend.
- Express your concerns. Tell your friend you're worried. Support, don't judge.
- Point out your friends stregths, many people in abusive relationships are no longer capable of seeing their own abilities and gifts.
- Offer to go with them for help.
- If you are a teen: Encourage them to confide in a trusted adult. Talk to a trusted adult if you believe the situation is getting worse.
- Never put yourself in a dangerous situation with the victim's partner. Don't be a mediator.
- Call the police if you witness an assault.
- If you are a teen: Tell an adult, a school principle, parent, guidance counselor.